Posts Tagged ‘Dating disasters’

Dating disasters

There was an interesting awareness study, done in 1999, called the Invisible Gorilla. In it, participants watched a video of people passing a basketball and were told to count the number of times the ball was passed. During the course of the video a person, dressed in a gorilla suit, wandered amidst the basketball throwers.
Afterwards, the scientists asked the study group if they had noticed anything unusual. As much as 40 per cent failed to see the person in the gorilla suit.
The point of the study was to highlight the fact that many of us are not as good at multitasking as we might like to think. When our attention is honed on one thing, we often fail to see other things even when they’re right before our eyes. This is not a bad thing. It allows us to tune out distractions so that we can focus. It only becomes a problem when we attempt to say drive and text, for example.
It’s an idea that can also apply to relationships. It’s the ‘I only have eyes for you’ aspect of being in love. Which is a beautiful thing. The flip side of it is that when you only have eyes for one person, you don’t see the spectacle of the gorillas. Or if you’re checking out the gorillas, then you drop the ball of your relationship. Or you lose count of your balls (ahem).
So, for anyone who is sad about being single, I would suggest that an upside is getting to see the gorillas. And even meet them, if you’d like.
Since stumbling into the jungle that is singledom a couple of years ago, I’ve met my fair share.
Some of the more fascinating ones include: the guy who had a penchant for floral skirts (for himself) and didn’t want to get into my pants so much as own them; there was the single dad, who was really very nice, but who brought his kid along on the first date. Unusual decision, but one way to cut to the chase. Half way through, with his (very sweet) son sat between us, he put his arm around his kid, and then put his arm around me (around the kid) and asked how I felt about having children. I said I felt a little tired and might need to call it a night.